In the beginning, everything seems so blissful. You feel really close with your partner and it doesn't seem as if anything could get much better.
But as that honeymoon type bliss settles down, that's when things start to get real. The arguments, the conflict, and tension almost seem palpable at times. And before you know it, that once coveted closeness you felt with them feels lost.
Every relationship will go through these types of transformations. There's going to be the good moments and the not so good moments. The times when you question everything and feel as if nothing seems right.
But, what is emotional intimacy and how can you improve it?
What Is Emotional Intimacy?
When you have a strong emotional and intimate connection with someone, you may experience any of the following:
You feel as if the other person really listens to you
You feel accepted and known by them
Feelings of security
You are comfortable sitting together in silence
But, you are also comfortable being apart and independent
You know you can work through problems together effectively
Emotional intimacy can involve any number of other things, as well, but those are the main ones. Now, how can you improve it?
Simple Ways To Improve Emotional Intimacy
Feeling as if emotional intimacy is missing in your life is the worst. It makes you feel very disconnected from your partner.
Knowing how to reconnect and deepen your emotional connection with your partner can be challenging. Here are 5 ways you can improve your emotional intimacy.
1. Quality Time
This one goes without saying, but should never be underestimating. Always make time for each other. Even if it's only 15 minutes over a cup of coffee in the morning. Or cleaning up after dinner together. No act of spending time together will be insignificant, especially when our lives get so busy.
2. Show Appreciation
Sometimes, through no fault of our own, we stop saying thank you. We stop acknowledging all of the little things our partner does for us to make life easier. Whether that is cooking dinner, doing household chores, or remembering to pick our favorite snack up at the store.
Life gets in the way and that will always happen. But to start improving your emotional connection, get back to the basics. Say thank you or just show that you notice what they are doing. It can go a long way to make them feel appreciated and secure in the relationship.
3. Openly Communicate
Honesty is the best policy may be cliche, but it's absolutely true. Especially in relationships. If you are not happy and feel as if something is missing, let your partner know. Not happy with something they said or did? Talk with them about it. And notice we say "with them" and not "to them," because there is a difference!
Talking with someone, instead of to them, ensures you are listening to what they have to say in return. Not just getting out what you need to then not acknowledging their side. Having open and honest communication can help strengthen your bonds. Instead of shutting each other out. Or, short, pointed jabs that don't accurately express your frustration.
By openly communicating with each other you, are ensuring that the bond you have can grow more healthy.
4. Put Your Friendship First
You aren't just romantic partners. You started off as friends and the strongest foundation for emotional intimacy is actually friendship. You can improve emotional intimacy by always making sure that you keep the friendship you initially bonded over alive and well.
5. Go To Couples Counseling
Sometimes, emotional intimacy is hard to gain back on your own. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your relationship. You sometimes just need extra support from an outside viewpoint.
Couples counseling can help you see the patterns that are preventing you from having more emotional intimacy in your relationship. It will help you learn to communicate better and listen to each other in more healthy ways.
We are here to support you when you are ready.
